I don’t know how the rest of you ended up happily (or not so
happily) married, but I can tell you that I never want to “fall” in love. It makes it seem like a trap of sorts. If I fall down, I typically get hurt. If I were to be “hit” with the love bug, I’m
not thinking it would feel good. So why
wouldn’t it sound as if “falling” in love would be painful? I take peace in knowing that I will never “fall”
in love. I will want to love and I will
choose to love.
I read an article earlier today, which you can read here,
that really got me thinking. I think it’s
great when a parent tells his/her child that love isn’t something that will
just smack you in the face. It isn’t
always so obvious as waking up and realizing that he/she may be “the one”. I can tell you from experience, “the one”
will take many different forms throughout your dating life. I don’t know how many times I have thought
about whether or not I was making the right decisions in relationships. Most of the time, I probably wasn’t…. but
that’s neither here nor there.
I have dreamt since I was a little girl of falling in love
and walking down the aisle on some hillside overlooking a stream with autumn
leaves all around. Now, not only is that
probably not going to happen, it’s not what I want anymore. Just as the man I dreamt of so long ago. Back then, he was tall and handsome. A wealthy man with a sense of style. A decent job and a great beach house. Don’t
ask me why he had a beach house because I’m not sure… I don’t even spend much
time outdoors because I burn so easily, lol! Now, I don’t even know what form this mystery
man will take. I can only tell you what
form he will NOT take. And that is below…
·
He will absolutely not have an
addiction to alcohol or drugs
He will not treat anyone as if
they are unworthy of his time/attention
He will not be an atheist… because
although I’m not as strong in my faith as I should be, it does still
exist. My faith in Jesus Christ, that
is.
He will not have a horrible
criminal past
He will not be lazy and depend on
others to take care of his every need
He will not get in the middle of
arguments I have with my sisters or my family… because men come and go, but
sisters are forever.
I could probably go on and on about this mystery man, but I
don’t want to. Instead, I will cherish
these moments and know that one day, when I decide I am ready to do so, and
have met a man with whom I am comfortable and enjoy being around, and whom I
don’t mind sharing my space with (because that’s a BIG thing with me), I will
choose to love him. And once I make that
choice, I will continue to remind myself of the good I saw in him when I chose
to love him. Because I’ve always said
(and still do) that I will only be married one time. If it doesn’t work out, that’s it and I’m
done. I will be single for the rest of
my days. Because if I choose to love someone
enough to be married, I want it to last forever. Because that’s what it’s all about. Finding someone to spend the rest of your
life with. It’s not something that
should be taken lightly which is why I am not married… at just two days shy of
being 26 years old.
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